The Kabbalah of Nursing…

[WARNING: This post contains direct quotations from the Eitz Haim therefore two specific warnings are in order: 1) By its nature is very deep and thus needs to be seriously contemplated, a casual reading may lead to grave misunderstandings.  2) It contradicts much of what is found in Tanya, so if you will be offended by that please do not read further. (As always my own remarks and explanations are in parantheses and italics like this)]

It is amazing what parents will do to see their children successful in the Torah world.  They will change their minhagim to get their children accepted into the “right” schools.  Mother’s especially seem to take the burden as it seems that increasingly Orthodox society wants to place the burden on them.  Typically this comes down on the element of tzniut and hyper tzniut.  As atested in this undercover story, it is one of the driving forces for women wearing shawls and veils, and becoming “Taliban Mothers.”  Unfortunately all of this craziness has little if any actual validity within Torah sources.

What astounds me more, is that in the midst of all of this seeking to be tznua enough for your child to become a Gadol, one of the things that has fallen directly under attack has been nursing.  My wife(and I) hear it all the time.  Extended nursing is not tznua.  That we should wean our children early for the sake of tzniut, so that they will have a “proper” upbringing.  Well truth be told this is exactly opposite the truth.

Let’s first look at the Halakha.  The Shulhan Arukh Yore Deah 61:7 says, ותינוק יונק  עד סוף ד’ שנים  לבריא, וה’ לחולה אם לא פירש. אבל אם פירש, שגמלוהו שלשה ימים  מעת לעת אחר כ”ד חדש, לא יחזירוהו A child may nurse until four years if he is healthy, five years if he is ill, if there is no separation, but if there is a separation, which he weans himself for three days from hour to hour after the 24th month he cannot return to nursing. So we see that the halakha permits nursing until four years under normal circumstances.  Just as an aside, if the Shulhan Arukh says you can do it, it is tznua.  The Pithei Teshuva(seif katan 16) says that it is an issur from the Gemara to stop nursing before 24months.

From there the Ben Ish Hai goes on to state in his own Sefer from which he draws his most common appellation:

People believe that weaning  a child early will cause it to be more successful in later years in its study of Torah.  This is false, and it is actually forbidden to wean a child before its twenty-fourth month, unless the mother becomes pregnant again, or for some other important reason(Pithei Teshuva citing the Adhne Paz).  This is also the opinion of our teacher the Ari z”l(Sha’ar RaFaH chapter 7), and one should certainly not wean a child before it reaches two years of age.(Year 2 Parashat Emor 13).

Before I directly quote the piece the Eitz Haim that the Ben Ish Hai says is relevant, at little bit of an introduction is necessary.  First Sefirot are only metaphors in the attempt to explain barely graspable spiritual realities, and in this case serve as a spiritual explanation for what today is solid scientific data regarding a child’s mental development.   In Sha’ar HaGilgulim 1 the Ari explains that when we are born we have only nefesh, it is not until we turn thirteen that we have the possibility of attaining Ruah, and then only if we have been properly purified, and then Neshama if we merit when we are 20.  In the Eitz Haim Sha’ar HaMohin the Ari z”l explains that these levels of the soul correspond to three specific times, pregnancy, nursing, and then adulthood.  Likewise within those times correspond to specific sefirot.

The Shemen Sasson, one of the important commentaries of the Eitz Haim, feels the need to bring a piece from the Eitz Haim 20:5 as an introduction.

Here at the time of pregnancy enters into it(the child) the nefesh only, concerning this matter know that it is impossible for the child to be formed by any means other than by the nefesh which gives it power.  Therefore this nefesh is not able to enter until the body of the child begins to form and thus it is necessary that first the man and the woman bestow a physical drop of seed and this is drawn from the liver(it is metaphorically called the center of the nefesh) of the man and woman themselves and contained within that physical drop is also a spiritual aspect as is known which is drawn from the mother and father themselves.  Thus there is already light there to be separated, and it is separated gradually by the mother only through her eating(For this reason there is an inyan that a woman should follow whatever cravings she has during pregnancy except for those of brain, heart or liver) and by means of this(her eating) there is added to the child both physical demension as well as aspects of the nefesh from the what is separated, which is the the beginning of the separation of the of the aspects of kelim, sparks and lights of the nefesh that need to be separated gradually.  Therefore the drops of seed that come from the physicality of the father and mother, also contains within them the actual nefesh of the father and mother.

Now to Eitz Haim 18:6 which the Ben Ish Hai cites:

The time of nursing is 24 months and that is because their remains three sefirot to be separated and clarified.  You already know that the woman when she gives birth she discharges blood, and that matter which we already explained is that in the innards of the mother the child is formed, and it happens that gradually over the course of days the child is formed until we come to the end of the time of gestation and thus is finished and formed and clarified all that is able to be formed and clarified.  From what is clarified is formed the body of the child and thus the child grows gradually in the innards of the mother.  The child’s body is clarified and the impurities that remain, which have no purpose, become the impure blood, and so when she gives birth and her womb is opened there comes out from her the impurities as the impure blood and the child clarified and perfected.  All of these impurities they are from the 7 sephirot mentioned above(Keter Hokhmah Binah [Da'at] Hesed, Gevurah, Tiferet) and three sefirot remain that were not clarified(technically four, however for reasons that I am not going to go into here we are dealing with three) at all.  These remain with their impurities inside of the mother, though the Kelim themselves certainly exit with the child as he is not born deficient(meaning that is only the sparks, lights and various levels of the soul that are yet missing).    Therefore their impurities are yet mixed with with holiness, as they were not able to be clarified, and thus remain within the mother in her blood.

Thus with the time of nursing they are purified within her(within the mother) and they become milk, and this is done by means of the blood flowing to the place of the breasts as will be exlained Bez”H the secret of how blood is clarified and changed into milk.  When the 24months is divided by the three sefirot there will be 8 months for each sefirah(according to the meforshim, specifically the Yafe Sha’ah and the Beit Lehem Yehuda this is not exact, they say it is 7mos for Neztah, 8mos for Hod, and 9 mos for Yesod) and the reason that it takes eight months for each of these three sefirot is because the milk is not suckled all in one day, rather it is suckled gradually, and by means of his(the child’s) suckling he grows.  In this understand why the child does not eat on his own for the first two years, rather that he needs to nurse milk(this is not to be interpreted as to say that the child does not need solid foods during the first 24 mos, only that it’s sustenance, at least spiritually, is primarily from nursing).  The reason is the she(the mother) needs to clarify for him those three sefirot that remain and the child does not have the ability on its own.

The milk that the child suckles is caused to go first to his own Keter, and after that to the Mochin(Hokhma and Binah [and Da'at]), and after that to the body(Hesed, Gevurah and Tiferet). From the Keter until the Neztzah ther are 8 sefirot and thus the eight months for each to be clarified.  Thus also 8 mos for Hod and for Yesod.  For the three sefirot that are clarified in the time of nursing are Netzah, Hod and Yesod, the three bottom sefirot of Zeir Anpin, for Malkhut, the feminine aspect  of Zeir Anpin nurses also the full 24mos on her own(these happen simultaneously) and thus comes out the sefirah of Malkut and she is settled into her place(at the same time as Yesod).

From here understand the reason why the child, when it is first born is not capable of walking, only according to the time it suckles is it given the power to walk upon its feet, until the very end of the time of nursing when it is walking like a grown human.  The reason is that Zeir Anpin he is the six extremities where are from Hesed until Yesod.  During the time of gestation he is three contained within three which are Neztah, Hod, and Yesod contained within Hesed, Gevurah and Tiferet(in reality to this point all of the sefirot only contain their specific Neztah, Hod and Yesod, thus the General Neztah, Hod, and Yesod of the Child are subsumed into the Hesed, Gevurah and Tiferet to complete it in the meantime.  Thus all of the sefirot are being completed in their specific Hesed, Gevurah and Tiferet, and thus general Neztah, Hod and Yesod are able to be produced, and the child will, with the course of time, be able to recieve Ruah according to the purity achieved here) thus when the child is born and he is able to nurse the Netzah, Hod and Yesod are formed and clarified and they expand into the Neztah Hod and Yesod of the child, which are his legs, and thus he is able to walk upon his feet.  Also you will see that sometimes in a year and a half the baby is able to walk and the reason is that after the Netzah and Hod are rectified he is already able to walk(meaning that the Yesod does not need to be rectified and that according to the meforshim Hod does not need to be completely rectified before the child begins to walk.  However, also according to the meforshim one should not cease from nursing until the child is able to walk, up to four years if the child is otherwise healthy and five years if he is not) even though the Yesod is not yet clarified because the essential of walking depends upon the legs.(This was also in answer to the makhloket in the Gemara Gittin 75b where the Tanna Kama says that one should nurse until 24mos and R’ Yehuda says only until 18mos because the child is walking by then.  According to the Arizal the makhloket there was over the issue of when the Sefirot are clarified).

There is a great deal more that could be said about this, for instance the Ben Ish Hai in the very next note says that a nursing mother should not eat Brain, Heart or Liver for the duration of the 24mos.  There is also to be said that a nursing(or pregnant mother) should take exceeding care with the kavanot of the berakhot over foods, as all of this has an effect on the quality of the clarification and thus the child.  However this should suffice for now.

Single Post Navigation

← Older Entry

Newer Entry →