I recounted the following episode from my life on another blog when discussing how certain aspects of Islamic extremism necessitated that the Jews living in Islamic countries take special precautions to protect their women, and how it resulted in a broken engagment:
That means as a Kohen, I am forbidden from marrying anyone with the halakhic status of a Zonah, and a rape victim unfortunately qualifies.
A girl I dated and was eventually engaged to, her father worked for a large oil corporation in Dubai. At one point she was abducted and raped.
Her family had to flee the country because when they reported it to the police charges were brought against her for “public immodesty” and some other absurdities that essentially amounted to -she was asking for it.
Unfortunately this didn’t come out until we were engaged, as you can imagine she didn’t like to talk about it too much. We were both B”T of some variety, so neither of us knew going in that such a thing could be a problem, and we were too dumb to lie about it when the issue naturally came up in talking to the Rav preparing for the marriage.
The Rav refused to perform the marriage… I was too sold on Yiddishkeit(still am to be honest) to leave it for her.
So long story short. Engagement ended because one religion taught that it is ok to rape women.
Yes I know it is an appalling story. What was more appalling to me is that the first comment I got on that story was this:
No used car salesman you are sold on a distorted version picked up from another religion called feminism.
I’m still shocked by that for anything more than a sputtering response.