Nothing Says Love Like…
So a couple gets engaged, a younger woman to an older man. Everything is going fine. Then the guy calls, wants a sit down with her and his “Rabbi”(scare quotes will be explained in short order). Because it was so sudden, so unexpected, even though I am not her Rabbi, I get caught up in this mess. Glad to help out, that’s what I got Semikha for right?
Nothing could have prepared me for what actually went down. The guy explains that before he is willing to get married, he wants a prenuptial agreement. At first I think it is one of those Halakhic prenups, after all they are both fairly modern. It was not. It was a prenup that gave the following conditions
- She would unconditionally accept a Get if he wanted to give one.
- She waives all rights to her Ketubah price.
- If he passes she gets none of his assets nor her Ketubah.
- If they have children and he passes, custody of the Children will go to his mother, if she is also deceased then to one of his siblings who will accordingly inherit his entire estate.
Nothing says love like sitting your intended down and telling her that you want to leave her bereft if you tire of her or predecease her. Her comment, “I feel like he wants to make me a an indentured servant.” My response, “No it is worse than that.” Puzzled look on her face, I continue, “Don’t ask, I’ll give you the number of one of my Rabbanim on is a Dayyan for Rabbinut’s Beit Din HaGadol, he can explain more succinctly in English than I can.”
Not so final solution. We are going to prepare a Teshuva to give to him and his “Rabbi”, explaining why she cannot halakhically sign this prenup and marry him, hoping that this spirit of Stupid will pass(hey that’s what the Gemarra calls it and רוח שטות see Sotah 3a), and he will come to his senses. She is going to stay with her parents a couple of months to try and get her feelings together.