When I laid down today I had a dream of one of Rav Kaduri ZTzUK”L telling me that when one sees something in another person that really irritates them that is most likely a middah in themselves that they need to correct. Just to get this out of the way, no I don’t think it was Rav Kaduri’s blessed soul coming to me in a dream, I think it was my own subconscious talking to me. Likewise I remember Rav Hedayya saying basically the same thing, that when one points a finger at someone else, there are three more pointing back. I had also once learned the same thing somewhere in Perek Merubah of Baba Kamma.
Anyway it has a psychological basis. It falls within the range of experience known in Freudian psychology as projection bias, and in Jungian psychology as shadow aspect. In short you identify similar faults in others and instead of dealing with your own shortcomings you project your guilt feelings onto the other and confront them about it. Everyone deals with it to some extent, though if left unchecked it can get quite unhealthy to the point of scape goating, but that is a different story.
Anyway what I realized is that, aside from it being a Jew that is getting smeared, part of what has been bothering me so much about Rabbi Eidensohn’s handling of the Tamar Epstein affair, is that I have not always been the most accurate fact checker either. That in the past, sometimes for the sake of hits, I have posted things on my own blog that I hadn’t done my due diligence to verify. I haven’t always checked for independent verification. Why? Because having a lot of hits can be addicting, and frankly that is wrong.
This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting for truth in the Agunah issue, whether it be Tamar Epstein or some of the others that have popped up on that particular hit list. Helping others to be more honest it will be part of my own Teshuva. However, it is also me saying I am sorry for not having been more makpid on checking my facts, and a commitment on my part to fact check and source anything that I do post that is not purely(like this) a personal reflection.
Like it says on the about page, and as I have stated numerous times before, this blog is about me detailing my journey, both it’s successes and failures. This is thus another step on that journey.