An Aspiring Mekubal

The confessions of a Rabbi and would be mystic

Shadow Boxing…

When I laid down today I had a dream of one of Rav Kaduri ZTzUK”L telling me that when one sees something in another person that really irritates them that is most likely a middah in themselves that they need to correct.  Just to get this out of the way, no I don’t think it was Rav Kaduri’s blessed soul coming to me in a dream, I think it was my own subconscious talking to me.  Likewise I remember Rav Hedayya saying basically the same thing, that when one points a finger at someone else, there are three more pointing back.  I had also once learned the same thing somewhere in Perek Merubah of Baba Kamma.

Anyway it has a psychological basis.  It falls within the range of experience known in Freudian psychology as projection bias, and in Jungian psychology as shadow aspect.  In short you identify similar faults in others and instead of dealing with your own shortcomings you project your guilt feelings onto the other and confront them about it.  Everyone deals with it to some extent, though if left unchecked it can get quite unhealthy to the point of scape goating, but that is a different story.

Anyway what I realized is that, aside from it being a Jew that is getting smeared, part of what has been bothering me so much about Rabbi Eidensohn’s handling of the Tamar Epstein affair, is that I have not always been the most accurate fact checker either.  That in the past, sometimes for the sake of hits, I have posted things on my own blog that I hadn’t done my due diligence to verify.  I haven’t always checked for independent verification.  Why?  Because having a lot of hits can be addicting, and frankly that is wrong.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting for truth in the Agunah issue, whether it be Tamar Epstein or some of the others that have popped up on that particular hit list.  Helping others to be more honest it will be part of my own Teshuva.  However, it is also me saying I am sorry for not having been more makpid on checking my facts, and  a commitment on my part to fact check and source anything that I do post that is not purely(like this) a personal reflection.

Like it says on the about page, and as I have stated numerous times before, this blog is about me detailing my journey, both it’s successes and failures.  This is thus another step on that journey.

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4 thoughts on “Shadow Boxing…

  1. Though no real proof was brought for that case, my gut feeling was that something was done. When there is such animosity between two people, and there obviously is, it’s almost a guarantee that someone will crack, and since she is the one that is forced to wait for the get, even if she isn’t the one who arranged it, but the story is quite believable. And according to Rav E, he did verify it.

    • I hear what you are saying. Rabbi Eidensohn never contacted the police. He is relying on his brother, I’ve spoken with him privately so I can say that.

      I’ve spoken with the head of the investigation unit Sgt Stillwagon and Officer Walsh, both deny that an assault or attempted abduction occurred.

      I have also spoken with a friend who will be a business partner in another two weeks who is a Federal Police Officer, who says the story of an assault is nonsense(though in more direct terms). However that is as reliable as honestly as Rabbi Eidensohn’s brother.

      • Thanks for the reply. I am surprised of all the name calling going on there, obviously what happened is questionable and it doesn’t seem to me a need for all the hate comments.

      • Sam,

        I’m not surprised at the name calling. This is a very personal issue for a lot of people. Unfortunately it seems like the issue is more charged with concerns about control and politics then it is about Torah.
        Having an honest discussion about sources is nearly impossible. So far we have heard the Ben Ish Hai was wrong, the Yaskil Avdei was a nobody(l’havdil) and one cannot rely on Rav Feinstein, Rav Ovadia or the Tzitz Eliezer… Essentially it is just possuling or ignoring everything that does not fit into one’s pre-determined position.
        That wasn’t how I learned to learn a daf…

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